Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that is often categorized into four types, including quiet BDP. The other three types are impulsive BPD, self-destructive BPD, and petulant BPD. Having a borderline personality disorder diagnosis feels freeing for some people who finally understand why they struggle with certain symptoms. Yet, at the same time, it can feel overwhelming to know where to go from here. If you, or someone you love, have BPD, it’s important to understand as much as you can about the personality disorder. This article aims to be a guide to the subtype of BPD called quiet borderline personality disorder. Let’s unpack what it is, its signs and symptoms, and how it can be treated.
What Is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?
Borderline personality disorder, or BPD, is a mental health disorder that affects one’s behavior, mood, and personality. Thus, it is difficult for the individual to have a strong sense of self and to get close to others. Some of the defining characteristics of BPD are impulsivity, poor emotional regulation, negative patterns around self-identity, and unstable relationships. Notably, people with BPD can feel unsteady and vulnerable in virtually every part of their life, especially in their identity. As such, they can be quickly triggered by emotional outbursts.
One common side effect of borderline personality disorder is the fear of rejection or abandonment. Thus, some individuals will throw themselves into intense and unhealthy relationships. Borderline personality disorder is fairly common, with an estimated 1.4 percent of Americans having the diagnosis.
Subtypes of BPD
Borderline personality disorder is often broken down into four subtypes based on the behaviors the individual shows. The study on BPD subtypes was created by psychologist Theodore Millon. Knowing these subtypes helps individuals better understand themselves and their condition. Equally, it helps treatment providers create the most accurate recovery plan, including recommended levels of care for mental illness.
Discouraged or Quiet BPD
Quiet BPD, also classified as discouraged BPD or high-functioning BPD, is categorized by a combo of avoidant and dependent behavior. A key trait of quiet BPD is the fear of being abandoned, so individuals may work overly hard to hang onto relationships. Additionally, they may resort to extreme efforts in order to avoid perceived abandonment.
Impulsive BPD
The impulsive borderline personality disorder subtype is most typical of BPD since impulsivity is a key symptom of the disorder. People with impulsive BPD engage in reckless behavior as a coping mechanism because of the instability they feel in themselves and their relationships. They may be impatient in situations where they don’t experience immediate gratification. Also, they may act aggressive of self-destructive, including self-harm. Yet, they can also come across as charismatic and engaging, so others don’t always realize there is a problem.
Self-Destructive BPD
Self-destructive BPD is a subtype where individuals have symptoms similar to bipolar disorder with highs and lows. Notably, people with the self-destructive subtype of BPD are more likely to experience addiction, including substance use disorders (SUD). Self-harming behaviors, reckless or dangerous behaviors, and the pursuit of feelings of euphoria are also likely. All in all, self-destructive BPD is an impulsive response to disorder symptoms.
Petulant BPD
Petulant borderline personality disorder has a key symptom of shifting moods. This makes it hard for the individual to maintain consistency in their relationships, identity, and overall sense of wellness. Often associated with these mood swings are insecurities about their self-worth and ability to be loved. Symptoms of possessiveness and control are often exhibited in petulant BPD, which hinders individuals’ relationships. Additionally, they may have symptoms of stubbornness, passive-aggressivity, and difficulty admitting they are wrong.
What Is Quiet BPD?
As mentioned, quiet borderline personality disorder looks like a mixture of avoidant and dependent behaviors. Individuals with quiet BPD are seen as high-functioning in their illness but can display intense, unhealthy patterns in their relationships. For example, they may resort to extreme methods in order to keep a relationship because they’re afraid of being abandoned. Similarly, one of BPD’s common patterns is an emotional restriction, where individuals keep their feelings locked inside. Along with internalizing their feelings, they may also be perfectionists who appear successful on the outside but feel lonely and “other” inside.
People with quiet BPD often hold unexpressed anger and have difficulty expressing it because they hold themselves to a high standard of image. Quiet BPD and relationships have a complex link. Because those with quiet BPD place a lot of stake in their relationships, they can feel unstable, depressed, suicidal, and lost in their identity when they lose close connections.
How Is Quiet BPD Different from BPD?
When comparing quiet BPD vs. BPD, understand that discouraged BPD stems from borderline personality disorder. Thus, BPD and its subtype, quiet BPD, share many symptoms. Borderline personality disorder is a chronic condition that can range between mild and severe. Medication management can considerably help people live with BPD. The main features of borderline personality disorder are unstable emotions, impulsive behavior, and a conflicted sense of identity. Thus, people with quiet BPD struggle with these symptoms as well. Yet, a defining characteristic of quiet BPD is people tend to internalize their struggles or turn them inward instead of toward others. For instance, they may blame themself for their issues instead of lashing out at other people. It can be difficult to recognize quiet BPD because its symptoms tend to be irregular compared to borderline personality disorder.
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What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Quiet BPD?
There are many symptoms of borderline personality disorder and its subtype, discouraged BPD. If you recognize the following signs of quiet BPD, reach out to us for treatment assistance.
- Impulsive behavior
- Internalized anger
- Mood swings
- Dissociation
- Social anxiety
- Low distress tolerance to situations (e.g., easily offended)
- Suicidal thoughts and self-harm tendencies
- Paranoid thoughts
- Depression
- Perfectionism
- Emotional restriction
- Poor sense of self-awareness
- Fear of abandonment
- Feelings of loneliness
- Difficulty being alone
- Patterns of unstable relationships
Reframing Negative Thoughts
Undeniably, living with the above symptoms can be debilitating. Individuals who struggle with quiet borderline personality disorder struggle to know themselves, to keep healthy relationships with others, and to feel fulfilled in their lives. Yet, people with quiet BPD are often perfectionists who have achieved a great amount of success. Inside, they don’t feel fulfilled or accomplished, which leads them to internalize their negative thoughts and feelings. An important part of recovering from BPD is learning to reframe negative patterns of thinking to achieve peace. At Aliya Health Group, our licensed therapists are skilled at teaching clients how to reframe their thoughts.
What Causes Quiet BPD?
There are a number of risk factors that influence who develops borderline personality disorder. Yet, in reality, the exact causes of BPD are unknown. A diagnosis of BPD will look different in every person, including the exact onset of the condition. Additionally, the subtype of BPD they experience is also shaped by unknown causes. Yet, some risk factors that seem to influence the development of borderline personality disorder are below:
- Genetics: It is believed that a large part of BPD development is due to biological factors. In fact, studies show roughly 40-60 percent of BPD variation is attributed to genetics.
- Environment: Additionally, there is a link between borderline personality disorder and environmental factors, like unstable parental support, environmental stressors, and childhood trauma or neglect.
- Brain Chemistry: People with BPD show abnormal neurochemistry that leads to destructive tendencies, like aggression, recklessness, and depression. Medication can help individuals manage their symptoms by balancing their brain messaging.
Most often, borderline personality disorder begins to surface during adolescence and may become more stable and manageable as an adult. It is not known what causes quiet BPD, specifically, but the risk factors are the same as for borderline personality disorder.
How Is Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosed?
The process of diagnosing borderline personality disorder begins with meeting with a mental health therapist or counselor. They may conduct multiple individual therapy sessions to gather information about how you think, feel, and act. After they’ve gathered a comprehensive understanding of your patterns and difficulties, they will be able to make an informed diagnosis. Notably, once you receive an official BPD diagnosis, you can move on to the next step of receiving tailored treatment. It’s important to note that currently, the subtypes of BPD are not officially recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illnesses (DSM-5). As such, you won’t be able to receive an official diagnosis of quiet BPD. However, knowing your specific symptoms will help your therapist create a personalized treatment plan for your healing.
How Is Borderline Personality Disorder Treated?
Treatment for borderline personality disorder has a few specific objectives: knowing the symptoms of the disorder. During treatment, your therapist will help you learn how to self-soothe your symptoms and learn emotional regulation. During quiet BPD therapy, you will also focus on self-awareness, social cues, sharing your feelings, and forming healthy relationships. Overall, treatment will help you develop a strong, constant sense of self. At Aliya Health Group, we utilize a variety of traditional psychotherapies and holistic treatments to restore those with BPD.
Psychotherapy for BPD
Psychotherapy is a traditional method of talk therapy that uses multiple methods, including behavioral therapy. We provide cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a therapy technique that teaches you how to assess your thought patterns for validity and truth. Additionally, it helps you learn to reframe negative thoughts into positive ones. We also provide dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), which stems from CBT but focuses more on emotional regulation. DBT is recommended for the treatment of borderline personality disorder, as it was developed with the condition in mind.
Holistic Therapy for BPD
Along with traditional therapy, we also offer holistic therapy for mental disorders, including borderline personality disorder. Holistic treatment focuses on your overall wellness, from your mind to body to spirit. Thus, holistic therapy activities engage multiple areas of your health. For example, we provide movement-based holistic activities like yoga, nature walks, and tai chi. We also provide creative-based holistic activities like art therapy and mental health journaling. We offer a wide variety of holistic therapies at Aliya’s treatment centers. You’re encouraged to try multiple holistic activities to see which ones are the best fit for treating your quiet BPD.
Medication for BPD
Medication management is an additional service we offer as part of borderline personality disorder treatment. During medication-assisted treatment (MAT), you will learn to manage your symptoms with both medication and therapy techniques. Many people benefit from the extra support medication provides in overcoming their symptoms. If you are interested in MAT at Aliya, please speak with our intake team about arranging an initial consultation.
Finding Help for Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline personality disorder can leave your life in shambles until you seek professional help. You don’t need to stay trapped in your BPD symptoms. We are equipped to help you overcome your quiet BPD through comprehensive, tailored treatment. Please reach out to us today to discuss the next steps. Take ownership of your disorder and walk the path of recovery with us.
